{"id":2475,"date":"2026-09-30T08:34:39","date_gmt":"2026-09-30T08:34:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wisehooves.co.uk\/?p=2475"},"modified":"2026-09-30T16:19:31","modified_gmt":"2026-09-30T16:19:31","slug":"from-burnout-to-balance-in-your-parent-care-journey","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wisehooves.co.uk\/index.php\/2026\/09\/30\/from-burnout-to-balance-in-your-parent-care-journey\/","title":{"rendered":"From burnout to balance in your parent care journey"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

My mum used to joke when I was younger that I was better at looking after sick horses than humans. She said I\u2019d be the world\u2019s worst nurse. She wasn\u2019t wrong! When my parents did what parents do, and got old and needed looking after, elder care wasn\u2019t a role I slipped into naturally. I lived 250 miles away for a start.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When a bonkers routine becomes the norm<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Long-distance drives, often in the dead of night after receiving a panicky call, became the norm for several years. My brother lived nearby and did a huge amount of daily care. But he had his own stressful family health issues to contend with. So I made frequent, lengthy care stays with my parents, lasting weeks or even months.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After dad died and mum was on her own, I fell into a hectic visit routine. Daily care, household chores, arranging home accessibility improvements, navigating the social care system, chasing doctors, driving mum to appointments, sitting with her during emergency hospital stays. Alongside this, I maintained my full-time freelance job.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A typical daily routine involved working on the computer from 6am until mum got up, then a 12-hour day doing whatever she needed, before returning to the computer when she went to bed, often working into the early hours to meet deadlines.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We had professional care workers making home visits too. But what can they realistically do during one or two 30-minute visits a day?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Back home, I’d try to catch up on my work backlog and horse care issues. There were still multiple phone calls a day with mum, continued chasing of appointments, and the constant anxiety of waiting for the next emergency phone call.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Consumed by emotions<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

During these years, I went through every emotion possible: guilt, worry, fear, anger, frustration, exhaustion, desperation. On many drives home, I would wait for a quiet stretch of road with no other traffic and then scream at the top of my lungs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wherever I was and whatever I was doing, it felt like the wrong thing in the wrong place. When I was with mum, I was constantly stressed about the work that was building up, or about leaving Simon to look after two huge, high-maintenance horses by himself. When I was at home working, there was constant guilt and worry that I should be looking after mum instead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sitting on the ancient, single bed in mum\u2019s spare room in the early hours, head spinning with exhaustion, I’d think, \u201cthis is it, I have no life\u201d and then immediately be wracked with guilt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was doing way too much, yet it was never enough.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Searching for solutions<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

There was \u2013 is \u2013 no easy solution. Our social care system is so close to being broken. There\u2019s no quick fix to relieve the pressure on people caring for elderly relatives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I tried plenty of different ways to ease the stress or practise self-care. These often left me feeling more frustrated; just another chore I needed to cram into a bulging daily schedule. When I was at home, being with the horses was incredibly therapeutic, although I was often so wound up that Jack refused to engage with me until I brought him some calmer energy!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Eventually, I realised that what I really needed was to talk to someone, to share the bubbling, conflicting emotions. I wanted to say, \u201cThis is not fair; I hate it,\u201d without worrying that I sounded like a selfish brat who just needed to stop moaning and do her duty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I found someone, and we did a few outdoor walk-and-talk sessions. Of course, it didn\u2019t directly solve all the practical challenges. It did, however, help me find enough headspace to think more logically about those challenges and put some of them into a healthier perspective. It also gave me a wee bit more energy to keep navigating the welfare system minefield.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Two
Relaxing with Jack and Boston<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Finding support at WiseHooves<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

This personal experience is why I\u2019m now committed to supporting other people to navigate the roller coaster of elder care.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Through sessions at WiseHooves, with the horses or in the woods, you can:<\/p>\n\n\n\n